BATTLING DEPRESSION & ANXIETY

#SHAETALKS

You will always hear someone say to you “always treat people with respect and kindness because, you never know what’s going on mentally.” And it’s unfortunately the truth.

I have had my own battle with depression & anxiety. It’s not fun at all. Making everything seem like it’s fine and you are happy. When on the inside you just wanna explode and drown in your own sorrow.

Usually people that deal with this don’t want to worry their loved ones that they are going through some tough times and don’t want to burden them with their own problems.

You have to always take care of yourself first before taking care of others.

If you want to make sure your circle is okay and happy, you have to make sure that you are okay to continue on because, if you don’t face it everything goes down beginning with yourself.

Talk about it.

It is scary and you don’t want to bother others with this but dealing with personal problems that you just need to talk someone to let it out is one of the best things to do. Dealing with something mentally and trying to handle it by yourself can crumble.

I am always the type of person that wants to take care of everyone and make sure those around me are okay and doing good with their lives when I forget about my well being.

If I don’t focus on the well being of my mental health, I can’t continue onto the things in the future to that I want to accomplish.

Make some changes.

If there are problems going on with a relationship/friend/school/work etc, and you know you have to get out of the equation get out.

Never stay somewhere toxic knowing things can or will get ugly.

I deal with personal problems everyday and it always helps to talk about with my loved ones. Some days are good and some are bad but as long as I progress myself to get out of that “funk”, something always helps.

Remember to always treat others with kindness because you never know what is going on personally which words can sometimes trigger negative thoughts.

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THAT SUMMER LOVE DUMP

#SHAETALKS

I think all of us has had that one amazing, unforgettable summer love that ends in complete fucking disaster. 

As for me, it was a summer love that would happen every summer but with the same guy. It comes to a point that you both get tired or one is putting more effort and the other is just trying to get some action for as long as he can until he has been satisfied enough and then it’s onto the next victim on his trail.

And if you are that person that has been on and off with this guy and you just want to make things work and see where they go, here are some things you should just NOT DO (from my experience):

  • Don’t ever force things to further EVER, if it is meant to be let it happen.

  • If you already see signs that he really doesn’t want what you are looking for ( or you guys aren’t on the same page with how this will go), that is an automatic “GOODBYE” to his ass.

  • Always remember your self-worth, we sometimes get blinded by that love/fantasy and think that things will go smooth if you keep pushing towards how this “fling” or whatever you wanna call it goes.

  • The more you push it to the way you want it, the more you are pushing him away from ever having those ideas/thoughts of seeing where this goes with you.

  • If it ends up in turmoil, it is not  ALL YOUR FAULT. If he knew the way you felt about him, you wanted it to be serious one day he should have not continued whatever it was you guys were doing and to keep your hopes that maybe something serious will come out of it.

  • If your loved ones are seeing signs that ‘maybe he’s just not that into you’ in that way TAKE THOSE SIGNS SERIOUSLY. The people that truly love you and want the best for you will automatically know what this asshole’s intentions are and what he is capable of.

  • LOVE YOURSELF ALWAYS. Unfortunately for me, I got lost for a moment and thought if he didn’t love me I would never be loved but the best thing that I realized that I had myself and I will never let a “man” ever try to take away my self-happiness ever again.

Maybe this is the reason why people call it a “summer love” because, its a phase or process that unfortunately us women have to go through to remind ourselves that we are unique and smart women and we don’t need a man to show us that we are incredible and strong women cause we already are without you.

WHAT TO DO ON VALENTINE’S DAY SINGLE

#SHAETALKS

It is never bad to be single on Valentine’s Day you can honestly do anything you can possibly want. But, if you are that friend that is the only single one in your group of friends who are all incredibly taken and obviously have plans for that lovely holiday then, I have some ideas of what to do on that “ho”ly night.

WATCH FIFTY SHADES DARKER

 

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The second installment of the “Fifty Shades Of Grey” series is  premiering on February 10th. So go with a group of single gals or go alone doesn’t matter who you go with. Have a great time and living vicariously through Anastasia Steele knowing she is getting all of Christian Grey (which is everything a girl can want).

        WATCH SEX AND THE CITY

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Sex  And The City has to be my favorite. The series and the movie trilogy is amazingly funny. A group of 4 gals living in New York dealing with daily situations of crappy men (sounds like my life) . If you need a laugh I highly recommend watching one of the movies you will literally not stop laughing.

GO SHOPPING

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Shopping is my therapy it’s a fact. Go to the mall and treat yourself find a new pair of shoes at Nordstrom, go look at the purses you are dying to get but can’t afford at Saks Fifth Avenue and call it day.

SPEND THE DAY WITH YOUR LOVED ONES

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Spend the day with people who actually love you. I love getting my mom a special gift every year because, it’s just to show my token of appreciation I have that she has been putting  up with my shit for almost 19 years.

TAKE A NAP

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Naps are sent from God himself. If worse comes to worse then, just simply take a nap. You can sleep during this day and forget it exists.

I hope everyone has a great Valentine’s Day. It’s not just about spending it with your significant other, it’s about spending it with the people you love and appreciate in life.

ACCEPTING YOURSELF

#SHAETALKS

Growing up I was never the “skinny” child. I always had meat on my body from the start. I grew up knowing one thing, “BEING SKINNY GETS YOU ANYWHERE.” That has been stuck in my mind from the start, If I wasn’t”skinny” I wouldn’t be successful in life. 

Having that mindset in my childhood then grasping it onto my early teen years really made me feel like an outcast. For a really good second I thought to myself “I’m really not going to become successful in what I want to do unless I lose weight.”

I think it’s disgusting to be raised with that mindset and especially that society brings that message into it makes it worse, which it led me to depression for a good amount of time.

But as I got older, I realized that I can make a difference.  I didn’t want to follow the crowd and do what everyone else did, I wanted to do what I felt was right.

I finally decided to accept myself.

Trust me when I tell you it feels amazing and no it is not easy to do and yes I do have those random thoughts and i think to myself “am I enough?”.  You are more than enough.

Accepting yourself mentally and physically was the best thing I have ever done for myself because, I know what I want to do with my life and I absolutely don’t give a fuck what people think.  If you feel like your surroundings are keeping you from doing so then change it.

It always starts with one step and this is the step that I took and where I am at in my life now I am grateful that I changed myself and surrounded myself with people who are a major support group in my life that I don’t know what I would do without them.

Accepting who you are and what you want to do with your life will make things a bit easier along the way.

XOXO

MY ” JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE” EXPERIENCE

#SHAETALKS

Hey lovelies! So If you guys don’t know what the “john tucker must die” experience is, i’ll tell you!

WHO IS JOHN TUCKER?

  • John Tucker is a fictional character from the 2006 movie “John Tucker Must Die”. He is in high school, the most attractive and popular guy in the school, most importantly he is a smooth talker and knows how to play mind games with girls. He dates 3 girls in the same school but the girls are all from different groups in high school. One is a cheerleader, the other is a vegan activist and the other one is a brainiac. A new girl comes to the school and they all find out that they have been getting played so they decide to give John Tucker a taste of his own medicine.

WHY DOES HE REMIND ME OF JOHN TUCKER?

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My experience was really similar to John Tucker because he had 4 main attributes that remind me of him:

  • He was a natural born flirt/smooth talker.
  • He was talking to more than 3 girls.
  • He picked girls that didn’t know each other what so ever.
  • He said the EXACT same shit to one another.

WHAT MY EXPERIENCE WAS LIKE

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I have been speaking to this guy on and off for years, he would tell me some bullshit story, filling shit in my head that just made me stick along. And he has done some pretty mean things that when he would open his mouth I would completely forget. Luckily I met another girl that was speaking to him as well that messaged me and ever since that day we stay in touch because, of how ridiculous this guy has played girls left and right. He LITERALLY said the exact same things to the other girl and myself. And trust me when I tell you that there are way more girls.

So what really made him remind me of John Tucker is recently he decided out of nowhere that he wanted to settle down and he wanted to get to know me better, he even wanted to spend the night with me (netflix and chill shit) and I am so focused in my life and career at the moment that I didn’t even have time for it like I have my days that I want a relationship then I have my days that I am just like “thank god I’m single”. But it was just something about him that always made me be drawn to him.

It was the day before we were going to hang out and I go on snapchat & I see that he posted a snap and it was of him disgustingly sticking his tongue in a girls mouth. And honestly, the first thing I did was literally laugh my fucking ass off because, I was not surprised at all . He literally would do the same shit to me and to many other girls. And i know what you guys are thinking ” Shaelen why are you trying to be with someone that is a piece of shit and is playing you left and right, you look like a dumbass”.  

Trust me, I agree with you guys 100%, I am a complete dumbass and I deserve WAY better than what I’m trying to get. I am worth way more than a piece of shit like that, I know my worth and will never go to someone like that ever again. This was a well experience learned and always remember to know your worth and never stoop so low to a boy
(not a man), that is desperate for one thing and that is to get in your pants.

BE BOLD OR ITALIC, NEVER REGULAR

#SHAETALKS

Hey lovelies! I have always thought that being like everyone else and blending in with the crowd made you feel like you belong and everything will be fine but as I’ve grown up and learned, I realized that it’s the complete opposite.

  • Even though there are people in this world that may find the things that you like to do or be are out of the ordinary, that is what makes you, you. And just because you have a different perspective on what career you want to take or you have different beliefs, it shouldn’t define you as an “odd” or “weird” person.
  • I have been made fun of & bullied because, I always thought that being yourself was weird. Everyone says to “be yourself” but when you actually do it, they think you should change everything. And you know what I think about that? Fuck that.
  • My advice to all of you guys that feel extremely insecure about what people may think of the things you love or love to do:  fuck what they think, you have one life and if you are not going to fully live it the way you want then surround yourself with people that are full of love and accepting yourself for who you are. Always be bold or italic but never, be regular.

WHY I WANT TO HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY

#SHAETALKS

Hey lovelies! I wanted to talk to you guys of a more personal topic and it is why I want to have plastic surgery. I already know what you guys are thinking, “just go to the gym and eat healthy!”, “it’s a waste of money!” or even “get it done after you have kids!”.

P.S.

I’VE HEARD IT ALL.

These are not the reasons that I’am getting plastic surgery:

  •  To look like Kim Kardashian West.
  • To look like every girl that has a slim waist and fat ass on twitter,instagram,etc.
  • To have the procedure & lie about getting done.
  • To “fit in”.
  • To brag about having the procedure done.

No none of those reasons are correct for those wondering.

  • I’ve been wanting to have plastic surgery for a long time, I’ve done the research and everything there is to know about who is the right surgeon, what i want specifically done, the cost & the recovery time.
  • I want to have this surgery for me. I do not  want to get it for anyone, or any guy, or t please anyone but myself. We all have our insecurities and we want to fix them and there are different ways to do it. Many of you that know me personally may not agree with me but, I am doing this to make me happy and to satisfy myself.

Now I know what you guys are thinking but wait,

“Don’t you always say to be confident & to embrace your flaws?”

^ Yes and I still say it til’ this day. I want everyone to be confident and to embrace their own flaws and if you don’t like something that you see and want to get it done, then do it! Do what makes YOU  happy & what satisfies YOU. Fuck what others think cause at the end of the day what matters the most in YOUR life, is YOUR happiness.

  • And if you are happy with the way that you are, then that’s great too! As long as you’re happy with the way you feel and look is what matters the most.

What I’m trying to tell you guys is, that whatever you want to do to your body is your business & you have all the right to do so as long as it makes you happy!

Love you guys,                                                                                                                                                     Shae.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING CONFIDENT

#SHAETALKS

I can’t stress this topic enough. What is really wrong with being confident? I always see people that take jurassic risks when it comes to embracing themselves and becoming confident, coming out of their shelves and being who they are. No matter what size they are, or how their skin looks, or how they style themselves. For instance, I am one of those girls that love to boost everyone up, giving them a burst of confidence. When it comes to a stranger or a close friend. Whenever I see someone down or insecure, shit I boost them up I am that kind of girl. But when it comes to me, my worst bully is my mother and I love her to death, she gave me life, blah blah blah but, the purpose of this matter is she always pointed out the flaws I have and she will say it in a matter that makes me want to cut her out of my life. Do you know what it is to have your own mother say ” If you don’t lose weight, I’m never speaking to you again.” It amazes me how my own mother said that and I typically ignore her and forget about it but this, this just goes to show that even though I tell her and show her how confident I am and I love to embrace my flaws that, my own mother tells me to re-correct them. And I love her to death she has giving me everything but, there is a line that you can’t cross.

I wrote this because, I want all of you guys to know that if you are in a stage that you may feel insecure or you’re hiding who you are & think that no one will accept you for embracing yourself then, think again. I always say this and it’s “what’s wrong with being confident?” And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being confident. If you want to go on a diet then do it, if you don’t then don’t, if you want plastic surgery then get it. Fuck what people think. Whatever embraces you and makes you a better person is what matters. Don’t ever let people’s words determine who you are emotionally and especially physically.

WHAT NOT TO DO AFTER A BAD BREAKUP

#SHAETALKS

Clearly we have all had those terrible heartbreaks that you always look back to as “the one that mind fucked you” and you begin to rebel and do things that you always told yourself that you would never do and are doing it.
There are a couple of reminders that you should NEVER do after breakup.

1. DON’T BLAME YOUR FRIENDS FOR YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS


You feel like the victim at the moment because, of all the negativity coming towards you left and right. And you feel like the people around you are causing the problems when in reality it can be them or it can be your own actions. At the moment you may seem like your entire world is ending over a stupid situation that made your life completely upside down but you should always remember that your circle isn’t the one giving you problems. Your circle is trying for you to see the light (in other words) make you wake up and do something for yourself and learn from the mistakes that have happened in your past.


2. WALLOWING IS GOOD BUT TO AN EXTENT.

Wallowing means indulging which in the Woman’s dictionary of break-ups, wallowing is indulging in a unlimited amount of junk food, laying all day in bed without looking at yourself in the mirror and watching 80’s & 90’s chick-flicks. The thing that sucks about wallowing is that you love it so much and you get hooked on it that you do it everywhere. You can bring it to your work place or if your in school it can go there and it will give other people that vibe that they can’t be comfortable around you because, of the situation that you are currently in. You can’t show your emotions and your problems everywhere, what you should do is think positive and yes it is change in your life but maybe it is the best thing that can happen to you. You take it as a lesson and you grow from it. Do things for yourself that will benefit you in the long run. Im not saying that it’s easy but it is the first step.


3. DON’T DO THINGS THAT YOU WILL REGRET IN THE LONG RUN

We all do the most incredibly idiotic things during a break up that we think it will move up the process of getting over you ex-significant other when in reality it can be hurting yourself more and causing more problems that you do not need in your life at all. We sometimes have that “fuck it” menatlity thinking that whatever you do at this point will not bring consequences when in the end they bring the absolute worse outcomes. The best thing to do is to focus on those dreams and goals that you desire. It’s the perfect time to remain productive and distracted which the outcome from this gives you an inch closer to what you want to do in your life and it can be the best feeling ever and it also helps a bit in the “moving-on” process.


4. YOUR FRIENDS ARE HELPING YOU NOT TRYING TO BRING YOU DOWN.

In situations like these you feel like you are being attacked everytime you turn and sometimes you may feel that your friends are not agreeing with the choices that you make when it comes to breaking up with someone that you loved deeply. You automatically think that your girls should be on your side which they are! But all they want is what is best for you and sometimes the things that you do, can make you look 10x worse and at the end of the day your girls are just trying to look out for you and are trying to make the best out of the situation that you are going through. You may think that they are against you which can be normally on these delicate type of situations but it is better to have a gorup of friends that are extremely honest with you rather than having a group of friends that want to lie to your face and make you look stupid.


5. DO NOT PUT YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

This has to be the most important thing that you should NOT do! No one should know your personal business especially something like this, it’s exactly what people want and will talk about and can result to rumors to more problems on your plate. Your probelms between you and your ex should stay just between the both you, obviously if you need help and adivce you should go talk to your girls but other than that you leave it off the social media. Don’t post anything on twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc. It isn’t worth it and I know we all have those moments that we just descide to be petty and give in to the stupidity. Don’t do it think before you post people because, it can backlash at you. Those “fuck it” moments can really fuck up/worsen the situation even more.

At the end of the day we all sadly go through one of those heart-wrenching break-ups that we just can get over in time. We try to find something to distract us in thinking that it can help speed up the process sometimes which in reality can cause even more damage. You have to think before you say, do, or type. The best advice I can give to any girl that goes through is this, to focus on yourself, better yourself, and to take it day by day.

NEVER STOP DOING WHAT YOU LOVE

#SHAETALKS

No matter what you do or love people will talk. It’s normal for that to happen. Either there are people that truly support you and know that you will conquer the things you love or they are simply too faced. I consider those people my motivators, yes I know it sounds really odd the fact that I consider the people that terribly criticize me the ones that motivate me the most. It encourages me to do the absolute best of my abilities and I love their reaction when they notice, it’s like giving them a big slap in the face which is the best feeling. Always remember the people that were there for you since the beginning, those are the real people that should be in your life. Never get distracted of that one goal that you have in life, why do something that you absolutely despise? Do something that makes a difference in your life, that makes you unconditionally happy. I know what its like to have your family judge you and think that what you love to do is simply a stupid hobby or they don’t think it is a suitable career that is gonna make you a lot of money when in reality, it is what you want your career to be and in my opinion I think if you truly know what you want to do in your life and it is your ultimate goal, it wont be easy because, in life nothing is easy (obviously) and you will be successful in life if your’e passionate about what you want. Always remember it is your life and only you can make your dreams come true.